Kiss Me
by Not-So-Hopeless Romantic
Summary: Spuffy kisses from Spike's POV, beginning in season five. Each chapter is a one shot. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1 (5 x 18)

**Disclaimer: I use some of the show's original dialogue to help set the scene, but I do not own anything or have any rights regarding BTVS. Thank you for reading!**

 **5 x 18**

Spike laid on the cool slab of cement that hid the entrance to his crypt, completely still.

What an odd word - _still_ \- it's pronounced as if the word is still itself. Not moving beyond the lips that spoke it.

Still I lay,  
but still I hurt

Still my mind,  
but still I wonder

Still my tongue,  
but still I lie

Still my heartbeats,  
but still my heart beats...

Closing his eyes, he forced the poem away. 121 undead years hadn't taken away his inner poet. He tried, oh how he bloody tried to sever that piece of his human life. A piece that held memories of mockery that found ways to haunt him today, but like the lingering smoke from his cigarettes, this piece of humanity lingered with him still...

The sharp sound of the crypt door swinging open followed by quick-paced footsteps snapped him out of his reverie, but he kept his eyes closed. A shallow inhale told him who had approached. So did its voice.

"Spike! You're covered in sexy wounds!"

It because, though admirably similar, the robot before him was a poor imitation of his golden haired angel.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and pushed himself until he was sitting up with his legs hanging over the side of the concrete tomb. Every muscle that so much as twitched felt like what he would imagine getting hit by a train would feel like. Now that he thought about it, there wasn't much difference between the Hell goddess and a speeding train.

"Yeah... I feel real sexy." Even being sodding sarcastic hurt. "Where have you been?"

It responded pleasantly, "I fell down and got confused. Willow fixed me. She's gay."

That wasn't expected. "Will fixed you? I'd have thought they'd melt you into scrap."

Buffy's little Scooby gang didn't like him admiring her as it was. Surely they wouldn't send his twisted therapy for loneliness back to him without any consequences. Perhaps Will placed a bomb inside the Buffybot when she fixed it so that it would explode in front of his eyes. Perhaps she also placed a camera in the bot and they were all laughing at his weakened state right now. Bugger 'em.

"They were confused too." The bot explained. "Do you want to ravage me now?"

The question was asked no differently than if he were being asked if he wanted a hot cuppa. It lacked the passion that he always imagined _his_ Buffy having when speaking those words...

"Give us a minute. Cuts and bones need mending." The familiar tingling of his skin knitting itself back together had been going on for an hour strong and his moments were still futile. Sex wasn't an option at the moment.

The bot furrowed her brows, "Why did you let that Glory hurt you?"

A question he both knew and didn't know how to answer. Why? Because he enjoyed having knowledge that others thirsted for. Because he reveled in the control it gave him. Because he found humor in the sarcasm and mockery that drove Glory mad. Spike was only a short difference from the word "spite", after all.

Because he wanted to impress Buffy, a woman not easily impressed. Because he wanted to prove himself to her, though he shouldn't have to prove himself to anyone. Because he loved her.

But mostly because the blasted bit of humanity that haunted him told him it was the right thing to do.

How was he supposed to explain all that to a robot?

"She wanted to know who the key was." He settled with saying.

"Well, I can tell her and then you won't have to - "

"No!" He interrupted quickly, leaning forward incase he had to physically stop the bot. Did it even know that Dawn was the key? He wasn't going to take that chance.

His abrupt movement had sent the blood that had pooled in his lungs sloshing about, causing him to cough out his continued response, "You can't - ever. Glory never finds out."

"Why?" The bot blinked.

Another difficult question. He had to give credit were it was due - The wanker that created her was genius.

"Because... " He started, struggling for words, "Buffy... the other not-so-pleasant Buffy... Anything happen to Dawn - it would destroy her. Couldn't live for her being in that much pain."

His muscles unclenched at the honesty of his words. Saying them aloud was as remedial as his advanced healing.

"I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."

Surprise flashed through the bot's eyes. She leaned forward slightly, looking at him as if seeing him for the first time.

 _What a human thing to do..._ he mused.

It was when her soft, warm lips gently touched his that he knew.

The bot wasn't able to admire his actions - not really. Nor was it programmed to give him simple, but brilliantly sweet kisses.

He pulled away, surprised. He opened his eyes as much as the swelling around them would allow, staring at the woman standing so close to him. How could he have not realized sooner?

It was her. _His_ Buffy.

He froze at the realization that it was her who had heard his intimate confession earlier, instead of the bot. Bracing for insults, he covered his shock with his usual flippancy.

"And my robot?"

She had begun to leave, but stopped at his question.

"The robot is gone." Turning to answer me, her pink skirt fluttering around her gorgeous legs as she did. "The robot was gross and obscene."

He admitted that he had that one coming. Loneliness leads a man to madness...

"It wasn't supposed to - " He started, attempting to defend himself.

"Don't." Buffy cut him off. "That... thing... it - it wasn't even real."

She turned back around to leave, allowing him to hang his head without her seeing. He hated looking weak in front of her.

Once more Buffy paused in her steps, surprising him again. She turned slightly so that he could see the profile of her petite face.

"What you did... for me and Dawn... that was real."

At that, he lifted his head and she turned further to fully meet his eyes.

"I won't forget it."

She left him then. Left him in pain, confused and inexplicably happy as she always seemed to do.


	2. Chapter 2 (6 x 7)

Spike was running as fast as he could to the Bronze, a place that held so many different memories for him.

It was where he met Buffy - Sparring with one of his groupies behind the club while he watched from the shadows, sizing her up and admiring her form. It was where he drained

the life from several helpless victims. Those were from before he had been unwillingly tamed by a piece of plastic crammed into his head.

A piece of rubbish no bigger than a penny controlled his life now.

He shook off the disdain that started to grow in his chest. His more recent memories at the club weren't terrible, if he were being honest. His final dance with Drucilla and

nights of pool games with the Scoobies, whenever they would tolerate him. Buffy even played a game with him once, while he told her the stories of how he killed two slayers in the

past.

He flashed back to their heated sparring in the alley behind the club that ended with him trying to kiss her...

 _"What the hell are you doing?" Buffy breathed as she took a step back from him._

 _Her face twisted in disgust at his attempt but there was an undeniable glimmer in her eye. Why was she refusing him?_

 _He grabbed her shoulders out of frustration. Nobody refused him._

 _"Come on," Spike growled, "I can feel it slayer. You know you want to dance."_

 _Their closeness had each of them breathing heavily. Adrenaline spurred by primal lust and the urge to fight each other was at war in their bodies. He was more than willing_

 _to give in to the former, he just had to show her._

 _"Say it's true. Say I do want to." Buffy shoved him hard so that he hit the ground and stood over him. "It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would_ never _be you."_

 _With a curl to her pink lips, she tossed the money she promised him so that it showered around him._

 _"You're beneath me." She sneered, unknowingly quoting his most tormenting memory. Then she walked away, leaving him feeling cheap and humiliated._

 _With shaking hands, he picked up the bills around him. The pain of relieving his greatest embarrassment was too much. A couple of sobs escaped him before he was able to regain_

 _control over himself. He took a deep breath and glared at the path the Slayer had taken, planning his next move. This had to end._

The memory had slowed his pace and for a moment and he considered stopping all together. He would find her and help with whatever crisis she got herself into and she would, at the

very least, scoff at him.

But that damned humanity tugged at him, whispering "find her" and he resumed his earlier run to the club.

He finally made it and slipped inside just in time to see Buffy climbing the stairs and singing, "There was no pain... no fear, no doubt 'till they pulled me out of Heaven."

Mortified expressions covered each of her friend's faces as she sang out the truth of her heart.

"So that's my refrain, I live in Hell 'cause I've been expelled from Heaven... I think I was in Heaven..."

Spike could hear the strain in her voice. He watched tears fill her eyes as she continued, her gaze now fixed on the bright red demon lounging on the stage. Sweet was his name, and he was anything but. This was the first time Spike had come across him, but he heard stories of entire towns going insane with sining and dancing... and self-combustion.

"So give me something to sing about. Please, give me something!"

He watched Buffy jump the stage and begin dancing. His own legs began to twitch and it took all of his undead willpower to fight the demon's compulsion to dance.

The smell of smoke wafted under his nose and he knew he had to stop her soon before she combusted into flames like the other victims.

He caught her by the shoulders in mid-spin and tried to speak to her in firm but gentle words, but they came out as a melody. Bloody dancing demon.

"Life's not a song, life isn't bliss. Life is just this, it's living."

For the first time, Buffy's wide eyes met his own and they were filled with vulnerability. It made his chest tighten.

Touching the side of her face with a tenderness he forgot he possessed, he continued his song, "You'll get along. The pain that you feel, you only can heal by living. You

have to go on living so one of us is living..."

Dawn spoke up then, "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it."

Spike silently agreed with the little bit, but didn't take his eyes from Buffy's. Until Sweet began his bragging, in a jazzy tune, about how he got everyone to expose their

secrets. Spike glared at the blue suited demon with a look that he hoped sent the prick back to hell alone.

Sweet made an exit as dramatic as his appearance, leaving the group looking anywhere but each other.

The silence didn't last long before another song began, much to his annoyance, due to essence the demon had left behind.

"Where do we go from here?" Spike sang with the others, "When does the end appear?"

He watched as his hand swept out in front of him and he shook himself. Holy hell he needed to leave before he made anymore a fool of himself.

"Bugger this." Forcing himself out of the group number, he walked outside and welcomed the cool air.

Walking away from the club, he thought about how close he was to Buffy as he sang to her. He would catch hell for that later, he knew.

"Hey." Buffy called after him.

Catching hell sooner rather than later then, he sighed to himself.

He turned around but didn't move toward her. For once, he needed her to move closer to _him_. He needed her to make the first move.

"You should go back inside," He told her, "Finish the big group sing, get your kumbaya-yas out."

"I don't want to." She responded meekly.

Where was this shy-girl act coming from? Where was the woman that wasn't afraid to shatter his pride - or his bones for that matter? What had changed?

His confusion sparked irritation. "The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones."

"Spike -"

"Look," He said, cutting her off, "you don't have to say anything."

It was going to be the same argument... _You're disgusting. It will never be you. You're_ beneath _me._

Which is why he was caught off guard when a somber melody left her lips.

"I touch the fire and it freezes me,"

Immediately his mind blanked and his body moved of it's own will, as did the words leaving his mouth, "I died so many years ago."

"I look into it and it's black... This isn't real, but I just want to feel."

"You can make me feel," He sang in tune with her.

Again, he found himself so close to her. If his heart still beat, he was without a doubt that it would be beating wildly right now.

He tilted his head, but before he leaned forward she was already claiming his lips. Her lack of hesitation had him frozen for the shortest of minutes, then he was reacting to her. He grabbed her arms, wanting to envelop himself in her warmth.

Their kiss was contradictory. Both gentle and ruthless, soft and determined, needy and secure...

They had kissed before while under a spell of Will's, but he didn't remember much of it with magic being involved. Buffy had also kissed him a few months ago as thanks for him protecting Dawn from the hell goddess, Glory.

This though... _This_ was their first kiss. Neither of the other instances did her lips any justice. Soft, heated, _alive_. He didn't want it to ever end.

Then it did.

Reluctantly, they broke apart to look into each other's eyes. Both were breathing heavily and Buffy's lips were shiny and swollen. It made him want to pull her back to him so much more.

Instead she slowly backed away, not breaking eye contact until her hand had found the door handle to club's entrance. With one last glance at him over her shoulder, she stepped inside.

She was always leaving him, but this time she made the first move. She finally showed him that she wanted him too. It may not be in the same way that he wanted her, the way that he loved her, but that would come soon enough.

With that thought, Spike smiled at the dark and began sauntering back to his crypt.


End file.
